- Leading Sire by lifetime yearling average
- Leading Sire by Comparable Index (Quality of Mares) five consecutive years
- Leading Sire of TDN Rising Stars
- $10,000,000 in progeny earnings three times
- 19.1% Stakes Horses from Starters 2008-2014 - No. 2 in North America
- 12.5% Stakes Winners from Starters Lifetime - No. 2 in North America (sires w/ 500+ starters)
- 57 Group/Graded SWs - $112M in earnings
- 17 G1 winners in six countries - 11 millionaires - two American Classic winners of all three Triple Crown races
- 2015: 6 black type winners , 15 BT horses, $5.1M; #2 Active Broodmare Sire; $650,000 & $500,000 2YOs
- 2014: 26 SHs, 9 SWs, $6.8M incl. Sprint Champion HILLABY
- 2014: Top Juvenile Sire - 17 2YO wnrs, 4 SHs, $1,000,000, incl. Champion runner-up CURSORY GLANCE (G1)
- 2014: #1 Active Broodmare Sire - 13 SWs, $9.2M
- 2014 Sales: $1,000,000 2yo, $625,000 ylg, $550,000 ylg, $525,000 ylg, $500,000 Race filly, $394,000 wlg
- Covering Sire on $2,850,000 & $1,325,000 mares in '14
Distorted Humor has the highest lifetime yearling average in the industry. His three-year yearling average is $290,460 (131 sold), and his 2015 U.S. juveniles in training are averaging $399,000. From 2008 to 2012, he bred the best book of mares in the nation, with the highest Comparable Index of any stallion during that span.
His runners comprise a Who’s Who of big-name horses of the past decade: DROSSELMEYER-G1, FUNNY CIDE-G1, COMMENTATOR-G1, ANY GIVEN SATURDAY-G1, FLOWER ALLEY-G1, HYSTERICALADY-G1, BOISTEROUS-G1, et al. In 2014, two-year-old CURSORY GLANCE was runner-up as Cartier Champion. Distorted Humor is one of the nation's top two stallions by APEX Index (top 8% earners), which indicates the very top sires of consistent, money-making horses, as well as percentage of stakes winners from starters.